What if I didn’t have Fibromyalgia?

In an internet chat room recently I saw a post that really struck me, what would your life be like if you didn’t have Fibromyalgia, it read.... 

 I almost got suckered in at first! I thought to myself…..If I didn’t have this chronic condition I would have worked harder, done more, been so much more, I would have stood up for myself more often when people walked all over me, instead of being so tired that all I could do was cry, when I should have been yelling and fighting for my rights!

I would run, dance, squeal with delight with my children, I would sing, I would laugh, I would jump on the trampoline, I would be thin because my supple pain free body would allow me to exercise vigorously and painlessly and I would take up some fabulous girly sport like Hockey, Tennis or Netball where I got to wear short-short skirts that would show off my perfectly toned legs and posterior every time I twirled and elegantly jumped.

If I didn’t suffer from Fibro-Fog I would think quicker, talk so much better because I could remember simple words like door and keys when I needed to,  why, I could have even become a public speaker or heaven forbid a politician, delivering my own perfectly written rattling speeches to an adoring crowd hanging off my every syllable….

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda!!!! I did say almost suckered in!!!! The truth, though rather painful to admit, is that things may have been different for me in an alternate Fibro Free world of my own creation, but even if they were different I wouldn’t know how good that I had it, so in hindsight I suppose having this condition has taught me that no matter how tough things are, they could be worse, I have now learnt to really appreciate my good days and enjoy them to the fullest when I do have them, even if it is singing, dancing and squealing with delight alongside my children, no trampoline antics though, I do know my limitations!!! Even if it means that I will feel like something nasty the cat dragged in for the next few days after, it is worth it.

On a more serious note though, professionally Fibro has made me somewhat of a train wreck, I do often wonder how my life would have been different if I could have pursued my dream career in Print Media/Journalism with more gusto, if I hadn’t become tired and worn down to tears by the end of each week – I was at times treated harshly and regretfully didn’t have the fight left in me to say my piece, but despite all of that, to be honest with myself, there was never anyone that was harder on me than myself, and I guess it is one of life’s little mysteries as to exactly how differently things may have been.